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Published on May 6th, 2011 | by Prof. Heinous


Tron: Ecstasy

I’m sorry.  I think the real movie title is Tron: Legacy, but for me the experience was pure Ecstasy.

You see, Professor Heinous once graduated from College.  On the same day I graduated, Tron: [whatever] opened.  Coincidence?  I think not!  Two and a half hits of Ecstasy later I was feeling GREAT.  We arrived at the theater at least an hour early.  Not only were they not admitting people yet, but the previous film wasn’t over yet.  We returned to the car for a bowl.  Sometime between then and returning to the theater I lost myself in the parking lot.  The streetlights were becoming so pretty!

Let me digress.  I decided to buy two and a half grams of MDMA for my college graduation.  My party began at Thompson’s house with some whiskey and women.  It required very little convincing for my friends to start eating the Molly.  Half an hour later, we were enjoying some Daft Punk as we began to fall into the clutches of this terrible drug.  We were so excited to see the film that we left more than an hour before the midnight show.  And then I was lost in the parking lot, staring at lights.

By the time my friends found me I had lost my ticket, but the ticket taker remembered my drug-influenced face.  She gave me a twisted smile while I explained that I could not have the glasses without a ticket.  Thompson walked over.  He was wearing his 3D glasses in the foyer.  He proved particularly convincing.  We rapidly moved to the front of the line growing outside the theater.  There were almost a dozen of us in the group and it was obvious that none were prepared for anything but peace.  No one protested our cut in line.  I ran into a friend from high school.  We discussed the original Tron and the benchmark in animation that it became.  He was so stoned he didn’t recognize my personal difficulties, or my penchant for rubbing fuzzy surfaces.

When we got into the theater we picked the back row.  Thompson suggested a seat near the center, but intelligently away from the projector in case we ended up dancing…which we did.  Then the colors began.  I would love to write a serious review of this film, but I can’t remember the plot to save my life.  All I remember is the flying colors and the sounds.  Thompson stood up to dance when the colors turned white.  I felt parched and purchased a Coca-Cola.  The white colors were amazing, but then things started to fly.  When the colors began to explode I got scared.  Then the colors were gone and the film was over.  I emerged from the theater two hours later with my mind completely blown.

I cannot recommend the experience highly enough.  I still have not seen the film sober, but I’m sure it’s just as good as the original.  There was no more impressive semi-animated film in 1982, and there was no more impressive Ecstasy-fueled film in 2010.

Editor’s Note: I thought I’d share the excellent playlist we used to pre-game for the release of Tron: Legacy.  This playlist was the only thing (besides the weed) that got us through that dismal hour before the movie started.  I think you’ll find it quite enjoyable.  We certainly did.

Tron On E Playlist

  1. The Flowerpot Men – Beat City
  2. Gorillaz – Stylo

  3. Nelly Furtado – Promiscuous

  4. Daft Punk – Face to Face

  5. Daft Punk – One More Time

6. Daft Punk – Around the World

  1. N-Trance – Do Ya Think I’m Sexy (feat. Rod Stewart)
  • No Mercy – Where Do You Go

  • Amber – This is Your Night

  • Yello – Oh Yea (Dance Mix)

  • Salt-n-Pepa – Push It

  • Zapp – Radio People

  • Queens of the Stone Age – No One Knows (UNKLE Remix)

  • Motley Crue – Kickstart My Heart

  • Queens of the Stone Age – Era Vulgaris (Richard Pile Remix)

  • If you have trouble finding some of the songs, check the Ferris Bueller’s Day Off soundtrack.  And if you’re too lazy to go find these gems I guess I could burn you a copy for $2.  Buy the ticket…




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    Who am I? The back twister, lingerie ripper, automatic leg spreader, quicker brain getter; keepin' it gangsta wit' ya

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