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Entertainment Breakup

Published on September 7th, 2011 | by Thompson


The Breakup

“You know I love you, Tyler, but I just want us to be friends.”

Tyler’s jaw drops.  “The fuck Hayley?  I was gone for 3 fuckin’ days.  What the fuck happened?”

Hayley turns away to cry.  “I’m kinda seeing someone else.”


Hayley turns her face to Tyler, her makeup being washed away with tears.  “How’d you-“

“You’re kinda seeing Sam!  What the fuck is kinda seeing?  You fuckin’ him?”

“No!  We just kissed last night.  I swear.”

“Yeah?  Where’d you kiss him?”

Hayley looks stunned.  “You think I would actually go down on him after 3 days?”

“I don’t know.  Would ya?”

Hayley cries harder.  “I told you this would happen.  I told you I never wanted a relationship.”

“Well, you sure fooled me.”

“Hey, I didn’t send any mixed messages.”

“Oh, so sucking my dick isn’t a message?  What about that line you used every time you wanted to get laid?”

“I never used any lines.”

Tyler does his best impression of Hayley.  “Oh, Tyler, I want you so bad.”

“That’s bullshit.  It was always about you getting laid. “  Hayley does her best impression of Tyler.  “Oh, Hayley, you are so beautiful.  I’ve never met anyone like you.  I’m just glad to know you.”

“Yeah, and I meant every word.”  The two stand silent, staring.

“I thought our situation was made very clear.  We would continue to meet other people and see where it goes, right?  I mean, you slept with Jessica.  I only kissed Sam.”

“Yeah, and the entire time I was with Jessica I wish I had been with you.  Being with her helped me realize how much I wanted to be with you.”

“No, you just had to fuck a mom, and when you found out how bad it really was you came running back.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“A fucking kid came out of that thing, Tyler!  But it’s okay.  You found somebody who would give you what I couldn’t and you went for it.  I was happy for you. Remember?  Why can’t you be happy for me?”

“Because I love you and you fucking know it!  And you’re too fucking scared to do a God damn thing about it!”

“Don’t say that.  You don’t love me.”

“Don’t tell me how I feel.”

“But you’re my best friend, and I don’t want to lose you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“As long as you get what you want, right?  As long as I keep fucking you and never hang out with anybody else we can still be friends.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“But that’s what you’re thinking.”

“There you go telling me what I think again.”

“I can see it, Tyler.  I can see right through you!”

“Well, I apologize if my love for you has been an inconvenience.”

Hayley sighs.  “You never were and never will be an inconvenience.”

“Well I must have done something to drive you away.”

“You didn’t do anything.  I’m just not attracted to you in that way.  You know?  I don’t feel the intimacy you feel.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?  What about the time in the blanket fort?  What about our first kiss?  What was it you said?”

“I don’t remember.”

“And I’ll never forget.  You said it was the most intense kiss ever, and that you’ve never had a human interaction like me in your life.  And I hope you never experience anything like me again, so everyday you realize what you’re missing, and every morning when you wake up next to Sam or someone else, I hope you think of me.”

“God Tyler, I hope it never comes to that.”

“Well, what did you expect?  I’m not going to be the guy you talk to about all your boyfriends.”

“You said you would always be my friend, no matter what.  Remember?  What happened to you just being glad to know me?”

“It’s just not enough anymore.”

“Well, it will have to be enough, or we can’t see each other anymore.”

“If I see you again I’ll puke.”


“Because every time I see you an image of Sam fuckin’ you will replay in the back of my mind.”

“You’re acting like a child, Tyler, and you’re being selfish.”

“Selfish!  Well, I’m sorry that I want you all to myself, but I thought that’s what you were supposed to do with the people you love.”

“What about my happiness?  Don’t you want me to be happy?”

“Of course I do.“

“But not if it involves me hanging out with other guys.”  Tyler stands emotionless, unable to speak.  Hayley turns to leave.  “When you’re ready to start acting like an adult give me a call.  I really hope we can still be friends, Tyler.  I don’t know what I’d do without you.  I’ve never been closer to anyone, and I’ve told you things that I’d never repeat.  I’d appreciate it if you didn’t use what I’ve told you to sabotage me.”

“You think I would actually do that to you?”

“I don’t even know anymore.”  Hayley opens the door but Tyler’s voice stops her from leaving.

“I’ll be here if you need me.  Always.”  A tear falls from Hayley’s cheek as she exits.

Tyler turns to his refrigerator and punches it.  He continues to use his refrigerator as a punching bag, his knuckles bleeding all over the magnets.

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About the Author

When Thompson isn't busy writing for Go Gonzo Journal, you may find him drunk at the movie theater with Professor Heinous or stirring up trouble in a bar with his attorney. Thompson also enjoys skiing, hiking, camping, and watching and betting on baseball and football.

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