Sports

Charlie Sheen Beats Whitney Houston


After two weeks of fantasy baseball, I’m 6-2 in my two leagues…not too shabby for someone who hasn’t played in almost a decade.  The Preacher was able to take one match-up away from me in week one, as the Minnesota M and M Boys failed to put up numbers against Charlie Sheen.  The Preacher got 67 points out of Matt Kemp, 47 points out of Chris Young (who is now injured), and 38 points out of David Ortiz to beat me, but I think Charlie Sheen is The Preacher’s strongest team, and I’m confident Mauer and Morneau will put up more than 28 combined points per match-up.

The Preacher again took one of three in week 2, with Charlie Sheen beating Whitney Houston, 368-329.  It’s ironic that The Preacher’s winning-est team is Charlie Sheen, but The Colorado Snow also improved to 2-0 by beating David Damn, 451-389.  The Minnesota M and M Boys bounced back with a win over Malibu Messiah, 461-306, as Mauer and Morneau combined for 50 points.  Whitney Houston will get another chance at beating Charlie Sheen this week, and I’ve been picking up pitchers off waivers and trading players like crazy to give Whitney Houston a chance.  I sent Eric Hosmer to the Colorado Snow for Carlos Lee to get a bit more thump in my lineup, and my latest trade sends Derek Jeter, Matt Holliday, and Ichiro to the M and M Boys for Erick Aybar, Nick Swisher, and Lance Berkman, which isn’t really a trade that I expect to help Whitney Houston immediately, but when Berkman comes off the DL they should be pretty competitive.

In my 6 team league, Losers Buy a Ball, the GoGonzoJournal Thompsons dominated their first match-up against The Ballpark Bunters, 804-521.  I had the advantage of Felix Hernandez pitching three times in the first “week” of the season, which seems to be a month long.  In week two, The Thompsons just got by Team christianson, 478-474…a real nail-biter.  Ian Kennedy’s 27 points on the last day of the match-up saved my ass.  The Thompsons are the only 2-0 team in the league, so I’d say we’re sitting pretty.

 

Anthony Varriano

Anthony Varriano is a storyteller, pro wrestling ring announcer, and public address announcer for amateur hockey in the State of Hockey. He is editor of Go Gonzo Journal and producer, editor, and host of Minnesota Foul Play-by-Play, a podcast providing colorful commentary on Minnesota sports and foul play in sports. He spent six years as a newspaper journalist, sportswriter, and photographer.

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