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Mixtape Sonnet


Dr. Sexson said our significant “otters” should enjoy our sonnets even if they’re terrible because it’s the thought that counts. Well, I’m not buying that. After discovering that my girlfriend used to write poetry, I decided to give sonnets another shot. I just think my previous attempt was more of a warmup swing, so I took an idea from class and ran with it.

We were discussing gifts you would give a significant other, and I’m so glad someone said mixtape. I’m one of the few people who still believe wholeheartedly in the mixtape. Most musicians can say the things you want to more eloquently and with more style, so I took a mixtape I made for my girlfriend and picked through the lyrics to arrive at this sonnet. A video breakdown follows for those of you who can’t name that tune.

Come on, baby, dry your eyes. Wipe your tears.

You know I never like to see you cry.

I understand the reason for your fears.

Nothing but an Earth-bound misfit be I.

I’ve seen your frown, and it’s like looking down,

the barrel of a gun and it goes off.

So save this poor sap’s life and claim your crown.

Though this sonnet be trite, please do not scoff.

Now, I’m not looking for absolution.

I know how hot Depeche Mode makes you, but

Before you come to any conclusion,

Think of all the fun you’ve had with this nut.

I cannot sleep. I cannot dream tonight.

Without you by my side it’s just not right.

Anthony Varriano

Anthony Varriano is a storyteller, pro wrestling ring announcer, and public address announcer for amateur hockey in the State of Hockey. He is editor of Go Gonzo Journal and producer, editor, and host of Minnesota Foul Play-by-Play, a podcast providing colorful commentary on Minnesota sports and foul play in sports. He spent six years as a newspaper journalist, sportswriter, and photographer.

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