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Entertainment Nightmare Before Christmas

Published on December 19th, 2013 | by Thompson


Top 10 Gonzo Christmas Movies

So it’s cold as fuck and you don’t want to go outside, but don’t know what movies to watch to put you in the Gonzo holiday mood. So, in an effort to make your rental or shopping experience as simple as possible, the Gonzo staff has determined the top 10 Gonzo Christmas movies for you.

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10. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

Disclaimer: Do not watch this movie on acid! It will melt your brain, and you may never feel the same way about Christmas again. The story, animation, cinematography, lighting, musical numbers – everything about this film is totally Gonzo, yet it ranks in at No. 10 because this is a damn fine list.

9. Lethal Weapon (1987)

Mel Gibson’s Catholic ass has to be on this list somewhere, and it’s only fitting that he and Danny Glover are responsible for one of the funniest, most explosive Gonzo Christmas movies ever. There is another, however…

8. Die Hard (1988)

A Gonzo Christmas movie after Hunter S. Thompson’s own heart. There’s guns, explosions, and foul language. Oh, and plenty of cowboy references. I’m sure it was one of Thompson’s favorites.

7. Home Alone (1990)

This little fucker made nearly $500 million worldwide thanks to the legendary John Hughes, who wrote it. Like A Christmas Story, its humor is totally Gonzo. Director Chris Columbus and musical director John Williams both called it the “cartoon” of Christmas movies, and there’s no denying that. But is it the best of the series?

6. Elf (2003)

Will Farrell rocks, but Zooey Deschanel’s blonde voice and everything about James Caan makes this a classic. It was a great year for Christmas movies, and despite what my sister says, there was a better Christmas movie released in 2003.

5. Badder Santa (2003)

The unrated version of Bad Santa is absolutely brilliant and absolutely Gonzo. Billy Bob Thornton is my favorite Santa of any Christmas movie and got a Golden Globe nomination to prove it. Just about everyone else in the cast is incredible, too. It was the last movie Bernie Mac was any good in…rest his soul. Lauren Graham looks great. Tony Cox is hilarious, but Brett Kelly, as the Kid, steals the show. He’s just so awkward…so Gonzo.

4. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)

That’s right. It’s the only sequel besides The Godfather Part II that’s better than the original, and it’s not a little bit better. It’s miles better! The slapstick comedy is even more-so Three Stooges-esque. There’s more pain, better stunts, a cooler house, and a scarier location. Macaulay Culkin really comes into his own. Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern are even better than in the first. And you can’t help but love the ending. “Kevin! You spent $967 on room service!” Thanks again, John Hughes.

3. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)

Just a classic Christmas film. It’s really the last thing I truly enjoyed Chevy Chase in, but it’s the story that makes this a top three Christmas movie. The class war between Clark and his boss make Clark Griswold a character worth watching because he’s bound to explode. Eddie is about as Gonzo as it gets – penniless, drunk, and living in an RV.

2. A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas (2011)

When I first saw this film, my cousin said it was the “best Christmas movie ever” three minutes into the film. It’s the only move I’ve seen in theaters and on a 3D HD television where the 3D actually enhances your viewing pleasure. Of course, it’s hilarious, raunchy, and Gonzo as fuck. Oh, and there’s a musical number with Neil Patrick Harris. NPH is God.

1. Scrooged (1988)

This is an easy one because no one does Gonzo better than Bill Murray (see Where the Buffalo Roam). He’s a brilliant bah-humbug character and makes the transformation beautifully. Bobcat Goldthwait is the perfect Gonzo sidekick, and there’s a bunch of great messages to take away from this one. It’s an underrated Christmas film, but not on this list.

Honorable Mentions

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

Jim Carrey, the only man who could ever and should ever play the Grinch delivers a masterful performance, but it’s not quite Gonzo enough to make the list. It’s too good-humored and lighthearted.

White Christmas (1954)

Left off the list because it’s not exactly Gonzo, but it’s still one of my favorites. Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye are amazing as usually, but the legs of Vera Ellen (surprisingly 34 years old) keep me coming back, and the voice of Rosemary Clooney (George Clooney’s aunt) make this Christmas film a must-see every year.

A Christmas Story (1983)

An undeniable classic, but not quite Gonzo enough for this list.

Jack Frost (1998)

Although I love Michael Keaton, this one’s a bit lighthearted and a little too PG for the Gonzo list. Still a great film.

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About the Author

When Thompson isn't busy writing for Go Gonzo Journal, you may find him drunk at the movie theater with Professor Heinous or stirring up trouble in a bar with his attorney. Thompson also enjoys skiing, hiking, camping, and watching and betting on baseball and football.

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