Archive for Sports

Vikings Brass Doing More for NFL than NFL

Sep 13, 2014 No Comments by

As a son raised by multiple “whoopings,” I didn’t want to rush a judgement of Adrian Peterson’s indictment for child abuse in Montgomery County, Texas, much like NFL commissioner Roger Goodell didn’t want to rush the judgement of Ray Rice. He ultimately did, however, rush to judgement when he should have been acquiring information. The […]

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Cordarrelle Patterson a Bigger, Badder Percy Harvin

Sep 07, 2014 No Comments

Few players have made bigger statements in the first week of NFL games than Percy Harvin and Cordarrelle Patterson. Harvin opened the NFL season with an impressive performance covering 100 total yards from scrimmage against a soft, but improved Green Bay defense. Harvin was most impressive in the run game, as he used to be in Minnesota, […]

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Day 3: My Attorney is Nearly Pinched in a Prostitution Sting after the MLB All-Star Game

Aug 23, 2014 No Comments

On the third and final day of our 2014 MLB All-Star Game vacation, I awoke to my attorney walking through the door carrying two Burger King bags. “You want chicken or beef?” he asked. I took the chicken and we washed it all down with Coke and cocaine. Our tolerance was back, so we were […]

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Gonzo Waiver Trades for Terry Ryan and the Minnesota Twins

Aug 17, 2014 No Comments

With the waiver trade deadline just two weeks away, Terry Ryan and the Minnesota Twins’ front office still have some work to do despite unloading Josh Willingham and Kevin Correia for marginal returns and a few dollars they won’t use. However, the veteran jettison has created roster spots for Trevor May and Tommy Milone, but […]

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Day 2: A Rainy and Snowy MLB All-Star Home Run Derby

Aug 15, 2014 No Comments

I dropped my attorney at his cousin’s and left them a bit of cocaine I managed to spill into a cigarette package while on the cramped shitter in his cousin’s basement. I know his cousin’s wife hates me, and I didn’t want to give her enough time to think I was doing anything other than taking a […]

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The Wildest MLB Trade Deadline Day I’ve Ever Seen

Jul 31, 2014 No Comments

In a wild MLB Trade Deadline Day that saw David Price to Detroit, Jon Lester and Jonny Gomes to Oakland for Yoenis Cespedes, John Lackey to St. Louis for Joe Kelly, and even Stephen Drew from Boston to the Yankees, Terry Ryan and the Minnesota Twins’ front office can hold their heads relatively high. They […]

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Twins’ Trade Bait and Why the Twins SHOULD Sell

Jun 18, 2014 No Comments

After a devastating 2-1 extra-inning loss to the Boston Red Sox, Wednesday — their fifth straight — the Minnesota Twins, despite being just 6.5 games back, should start selling…and should be happy about it. For the first time in years the Twins have players that will be of interest to almost any contender and a […]

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Moneyball Working for Patient Twins

Apr 24, 2014 No Comments

If you told me at the beginning of spring training that the Minnesota Twins would be above .500 and have a chance to move into first place in the AL Central after 21 games, I would have laughed in your face. I’m still laughing. The Twins are second in all of baseball when it comes […]

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Why the ACC is College Basketball’s Best Conference

Feb 21, 2014 No Comments

If we’ve learned anything in the last week, it’s that the ACC is college basketball’s best conference. Boston College (6-19) knocked off top-seeded and undefeated Syracuse (25-1) in overtime. North Carolina (19-7) outplayed Duke (21-6) in the second half to win on their court after edging Pitt (20-6). Now Duke will play Syracuse on Saturday […]

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6-man Starting Rotation in Twins Future

Dec 15, 2013 No Comments

With the recent signing of Mike Pelfrey to a two-year, $11 million deal, I can’t imagine the Twins going with the traditional five-man starting rotation. They have such a surplus of pitching there almost has to be another starting spot, and it wouldn’t be a bad idea given their arms, namely Hughes, Correia, and Pelfrey, […]

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