Harold and Kumar Hotbox Theaters Everywhere

I didn’t have to smoke pot to become a huge Harold and Kumar fan.  When I saw the first film I was sober, and I loved it.  But now that I do smoke, I have a new-found appreciation for the films that not only poke fan at potheads, but also find a way to support them and their cause.  With over half of the nation’s voters already in agreement that marijuana should be decriminalized, this film couldn’t come at a better time.

When I first saw the trailer for A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas, I wanted to see it immediately, and despite the fact I had to see it in 3D, which I hate, I knew I wouldn’t be disappointed.  And I wasn’t.  In fact, it’s the best Christmas movie I’ve seen in theaters, the best 3D movie I’ve ever seen, and a must-see for all you Gonzo fanatics out there.

I saw the film at my favorite theater, The Grand in Bismarck, ND.  I was running late because of family obligations that ran long, so I was forced to smoke a joint in the car on the way to pick up my cousin, Joel.  We were already running late when I called Joel and told him to be ready in one minute.  Joel jumped in the van, and we were off.

“It smells like my dad’s basement in here,” Joel said, laughing.  Joel’s dad has been smoking for years, but Joel doesn’t smoke.  He’s an all-around good time despite his shortcoming, though.  I sped to the theater, found a parking spot, and we ran in for our tickets.  We were already 10 minutes late.

“Two for Harold and Kumar,” I said gasping for air.

“That’ll be $24.”

“Holy shit,” Joel said.  “What is it in 3D?”

“Yeah.  It’s called A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas.  We have to see it in 3D.”

“Well, shit.”  Joel was already disappointed, but I had a feeling he wouldn’t regret seeing the film, so I bought his ticket for him and we ran to theater 13.  By the time we sat down the movie was just about to start.

After the first two minutes of the film, before the title credits, Joel turned to me, his cheeks wet with tears from laughing so hard, and said, “After the first two minutes it’s already the best 3D movie I’ve ever seen.”  And he was absolutely right.

Joel was disappointed that we had to see the film in 3D because every 3D movie we ever saw didn’t utilize 3D all that much.  Well, there’s a reason the film is called A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas.  It’s VERY 3D.  In the first two minutes, Kumar meets his drug dealer, played by Patton Oswalt, and buys some weed.  He and Patton start smoking, and the smoke just pours into the theater.  It feels like you’re in the room with them getting high, and since I already was high, I felt like I was extremely high.  I’ve never laughed so hard at the first two minutes of a film in my life…and I’ve seen a lot of films.  I’ve got a degree for that shit.

The rest of the film doesn’t disappoint.  Filled with great one-liners like, “I gotta stay here and smoke this weed or I won’t get high,” “I’m gay for that pussy,” and “don’t spit on my dick,” the film continues the franchise’s already stellar legacy.  The 3D keeps coming, too, as the film is very action-packed with violent, slow-mo explosions and dance numbers featuring NPH doing his own singing.  Neil is brilliant as usual, but I especially enjoyed the performance of Isabella Gielniak who plays Caren, a toddler who ingests marijuana, cocaine, and ecstasy during the course of the film.

Don’t let all the drugs and dirty humor fool you, though.  This film has a great Christmas story and a wonderful lesson.  Despite the raunchy humor the film succeeds in sending the message that Christmas is a time for family…a time for giving because you want to…and a time to share a joint with a friend.  So as Neil Patrick Harris says, “I’ll see you guys in the fourth one.”

THE VERDICT (94/100): A must-see for anyone who can get into an R-rated movie.  Second to only Scrooged and followed closely by National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation for best Christmas comedy.  It’s that good!