The Matchup We’ve All Been Waiting For…Colorado Snow (3-0) vs. Charlie Sheen (3-0)

Finally, in Week 4 of the season, The Preacher and I will be battling it out in both leagues, but the biggest matchup of the week is Snow vs. Sheen.  Charlie’s kicked my butt thrice so far this season, although I’ve been much closer to beating Sheen than The Preacher has to beating Snow.  The Colorado Snow have outscored their opponents by 301 points in 3 weeks, while Charlie Sheen has a cushion of just 176 points in their first 3 wins.

The team is so dominant, I actually broke it up, and did so beautifully despite thinking The Preacher and I would have the opportunity to play ourselves this week.  The schedule said Snow was to play Houston, and Damn was to play Sheen, so I figured I’d send my All-Stars to my weaker teams to make sure they pull out wins and sacrifice the hopes of a perfect season to make sure I win each division, which is really the idea of the game.  From what I know, being the best team doesn’t get you anything extra.  The winner of the Game Division gets free tickets to a baseball game, the winner of the Snow Division gets half a ball, and the winner of the Blow Division gets a free bottle of whiskey.  Having the best team is just bragging rights, and frankly, I’ll take the blow.

My latest trade sends Yu Darvish, Carlos Beltran, and Eric Hosmer from the Colorado Snow to Whitney Houston.  The Snow receive Nick Swisher, Carlos Lee, and Yovani Gallardo in return.  Somehow, I orchestrated this trade so I could still get a start out of Darvish this week in my big matchup against Sheen, but I mostly traded him because he plays in Texas and belongs on Whitney Houston.  Plus, Houston really needed the starting pitching depth.  The rest of the moves were mostly due to injury.  Swisher is ailing as is Lee, and Gallardo’s last start was a disaster, so I figured I’d send them to Colorado to rest up.  Swisher’s been a fantasy points machine this season averaging 3.5 points per game, and Lee has been a pleasant surprise at 2.5 points per game.  When they’re healthy they’ll produce for the Snow.

That’s not all.  I actually feel a bit bad about this next trade.  I sent Michael Cuddyer and Johnny Cueto from the Snow to the M and M Boys for Howard Kendrick and Jason Vargas.  It might be one of the most lopsided trades I’ve ever heard of, and I feel bad about it because Cuddyer plays in Colorado, and to separate him from Troy Tulowitzki and Carlos Gonzalez just seems wrong.  Cuddyer’s been a machine this season averaging 2.6 points per game, but the real money’s in Cueto who grabs 18 points per start.  Kendrick’s worth just 1.5 points per game, but can play 2B and OF.  Vargas is OK averaging 12.8 points per start.  Again, somehow, I managed to orchestrate this trade just in time for Justin Morneau’s MRI on his wrist.  Perfect timing!  I don’t know how, but these trades seem to be working out just fine so far this week despite the scheduling questions.

I’m also playing The Preacher in my Losers Buy a Ball Leauge, where we had some drama last week.  Late in the week, I noticed my opponent hadn’t played anyone at LF or IF all week. I checked his bench for the first time to notice he had 5 bench players, all of them pitchers.  I ended up losing the matchup by just 1 point, and now I’m trying to reach him via email because my phone is broken to let him know he has to drop 2 players.  I’m wondering if he should be penalized for breaking the bench players rule.  We will figure it out.  Every good fantasy league has to have its share of issues.  Remember the episode of The League where they try to come up with a tiebreaker?

Anyways, The Preacher and I play our first matchup this week in Losers Buy a Ball, and I have a feeling it’s going to be a close one.  Overall, I went 2-2 last week with the Minnesota M and M Boys and the Colorado Snow netting wins.  Whitney Houston played Charlie Sheen to a tough loss, 427-400.  I really had a shot at beating Sheen this week, but traded Johan Santana to Minnesota to make sure the M and M Boys beat David Damn, who is now 0-3, which makes Whitney Houston the leader of the Blow Division at 1-2.  The Snow won 434-267 over Malibu Messiah.  I’m leading 3 of 4 divisions I’m playing in.