Stealing Oscar, starring Bill Murray

I had this idea for a movie about Bill Murray​ stealing the Academy Award for Best Actor two years before he was robbed of one for Lost in Translation​ in 2004. Sean Penn won it for Mystic River that year. I didn’t think Bill was robbed for Lost in Translation at the time, though. In fact, I hated the movie the first time I saw it.

I remember it vividly. I heard Bill Murray’s new movie was out on DVD, so I went to the local K-mart and bought a copy. Our single-screen theater showed just one or two films each week, so it wasn’t surprising that an independent production, even starring Bill Murray and with the production support of Francis Ford Coppola, would not be screened in my small, Eastern Montana town. I couldn’t wait to get home and watch it. When I did, it was not what I expected.

I didn’t research the film for fear of ruining it, but I was surprised to say the least. It was hardly funny and borderline depressing. The stories of these two people – one being neglected, the other doing the neglecting – were sad. I didn’t think Bill spoke enough. The only parts I specifically remember enjoying were the opening shot of Scarlett Johansson’s pink-pantied ass, and Bill doing the photo shoot for the Japanese whiskey. While Bill was thinking, “Where the hell’s the whiskey?” I was thinking “Where the hell’s the laughs?”

Then there’s the infamous ending that left me so frustrated I wanted to return the film and tell them it was scratched. In fact, I might have tried. I rewatched the ending five or six times, turning the volume higher and higher with hopes of hearing what Bill whispers in Scarlett’s ear. Nothing. I even got out headphones. Still nothing. I was pissed, and I didn’t watch the film again for almost a year. When I did, I loved it. I realized Bill didn’t need to speak because his face said more than his mouth ever could. His depression is apparent. I loved the realism of the whole encounter – not just the very relatable jet lag associated with international travel – but how both stories conveyed how things don’t always turn out the way you want and how that can be exactly what you need. I even loved the ending because, again, words weren’t necessary. Everything the audience needs to know is conveyed through action and performance.

I thought Bill was robbed long before Lost in Translation, though. His performance in Groundhog Day was not only Oscar-worthy, but better than the 1993 winner for Best Actor – Al Pacino for Scent of a Woman –and I love that movie. Bill’s impeccable performance in Groundhog Day was the result of rage, and it was delivered despite his first marriage falling apart. He was bitten by the groundhog three times during the car chase scene and had to get rabies shots as a result.

He and writer/director Harold Ramis also had differing opinions of what the film should be, with Murray advocating for a more philosophical and dramatic film, one the Academy might have recognized with a nomination, and Ramis sticking with what he knew best. They didn’t speak for 21 years after completing the project, and it took until Ramis was on his deathbed for Bill to break the silence. He’s since honored Ramis at the Oscars and was moved to tears by the Groundhog Day musical. He’s grown as a human being, as we are apt to do.

The following screenplay entitled Stealing Oscar is about Bill Murray recruiting his famous friends to steal the Academy Award and the love of his estranged son. Despite being a comedic heist film in the vein of Ocean’s Eleven, it also documents the dramatic, introspective journey of a lonely, old man on death’s door trying to cope with regret by occupying his time and mind with anything, including crime.

This work is registered with The United States Copyright Office.

But when Bill’s youngest son, Lincoln, finds himself unhoused, Bill must decide between stealing the Oscar and the admiration of his peers or earning the admiration, love, and respect of his son and family. Bill selfishly attempts to do both, unable to shake his old ways.

Logline: “A movie star with a sense of emptiness attempts to steal an Academy Award and the love of his estranged son.”

I wrote the first draft of Stealing Oscar in the summer of 2007 for an advanced screenwriting course at Montana State University. My mentor said it had the highest production value of any script in the class, but advised that I wouldn’t have the connections Sophia Coppola did when she wrote Lost in Translation specifically for Bill. I acknowledged that it was unlikely Bill would ever read it having known he’s never had representation and has been known to have scripts left for him at public phone booths. I felt the idea was too good to abandon, and I’ve been consumed by it since.

I had a pretty good handle on the characters in that first draft. In fact, I wrote things into existence. A few months after I had completed the first draft, a fellow film student shared a news story about Bill Murray refusing to take a breath test after being pulled over in Stockholm, Sweden while driving a “borrowed” golf cart back to his hotel from a nearby nightclub. He shared it with me because I had written a scene into the first draft in which Bill, drinking and driving, tosses friend Dan Aykroyd from a golf cart, breaking his arm. They leave the emergency room in the golf cart, head to a strip club, and drive the cart back to Bill’s home. The next day it’s seen turned over on the front lawn.

I did a revision of the first draft the following year upon news of Bill’s second divorce. Considering the rough draft contained ample drug use and Bill’s wife was filing for divorce on the grounds of drug addiction (marijuana and alcohol were cited), physical abuse, adultery, and abandonment of his family, I again felt I had written Bill accurately. But now my Bill had something to motivate him besides making the Academy look bad. Instead, he could steal the Oscar in order to steal back the love of his family.

The next five revisions happened over the course of a decade and really didn’t change the story much. My character was still motivated to win back his family, and he did. He used his Oscar acceptance speech to acknowledge his mistakes and apologize for them. I hated that Hollywood ending, though. I wanted Bill to retain some of his defiance while acknowledging his mistakes and apologizing for them. Some of the old Bill Murray had to remain in the end. He couldn’t suddenly become Bill Murray, family man. So instead of winning back his whole family, Bill is tasked with winning the admiration of his youngest son, Lincoln.

While Dan Aykroyd, Jeff Bridges, and Johnny Deppare also written into the script, they are replaceable. Of the supporting cast, Penn is the least replaceable character, but he also has the least amount of screen time. Dan Aykroyd is second to Bill in screen time and dialogue, with Bill’s son getting the third-most screen time and dialogue.

I’ve always seen Stealing Oscar as a fitting final film for Bill. My only fear is Bill feeling this story hits too close to home. I know he’s played the character who avoids his family before, but having an actual family member portrayed in a film is a whole different animal. I’d just be happy making him laugh for once.