The Fine Art of Not Giving a Fuck

In my last Go Gonzo Journal entry, I indicated that I aspired to attain that feeling of “not giving a fuck” that comes when you’re failing, and you stop thinking, start feeling, and start succeeding. I’m calling this “The Fine Art of Not Giving a Fuck.”

Anyone can not give a fuck, and anyone can make “art.” But making fine art means making art deemed by peers to be of the finest quality. Practicing The Fine Art of Not Giving a Fuck isn’t simply feeling as if you accomplished something despite not giving a fuck. It’s convincing others you accomplished something by not giving a fuck.

When Andre Agassi was down in a match, he often summoned powers he didn’t know he had by freeing himself of the burden of expectations. Back to the wall, all of us alter our expectation of thriving to simply surviving and then going down fighting.

Expectations are what make life miserable. Shed ourselves of expectations, and we are unshackled, free to be and act as our best selves would.

I wish to exist in that space where Agassi abandons the failed game plan and hits winner after winner despite doing so. I want to feel as if I’m writing winner after winner because I’m taking my best shot on every shot. And when those shots fail, I want to feel as if it doesn’t matter, because I know I did my damnedest despite the deficit. If I go down in flames, I go down firing my best shots.

I guess, then, practicing The Fine Art of Not Giving a Fuck would equate to these things I”m calling art actually being considered art by others willing to pay me to create more. Despite my despise of writing, I must pursue the pain, welcome it, if I am to successfully practice The Fine Art of Not Giving a Fuck.

I must have applied for a dozen jobs today, and another five to seven each day for the past few months. This is the best cover letter I have to offer anyone.