The New Abnormal: Writing Regularly, Rage Be Damned

You’ve probably noticed an influx and adjustment of content created here at Go Gonzo Journal, and that’s going to be The New Abnormal. Instead of creating content specifically for you, my gracious audience, I intend to use this medium to create for myself first, and for you second. This is not an indictment of you but of me. I certainly need this more than you do, but I hope what’s good for me ends up being good for you, too. This is The New Abnormal.

I’ve basically spent Donald Trump’s term as President running from my rage. Perhaps that’s unfortunate because it was the one thing that made my writing unique. My tone was always on one side of the spectrum, and my writing was always at its best when I was either enraged or in love. No place for normal in my narrative. This is The New Abnormal, and the soundtrack is The Strokes’ “The New Abnormal,” the best record of the summer.

I realize now that I never actually gave this blogging thing a chance. I wrote over 10,000 words for the launch of Go Gonzo Journal, which I designed using Dreamweaver back in 2009. All that writing debuted in 2010, and instead of writing more, I undertook a redesign of the website to allow others to more easily contribute. Once others were willing to write for me I willfully and probably gladly abandoned writing. I find writing to be torturous, so that’s not at all surprising.

When I pursued objectivity as a journalist, it forced me to both acknowledge and look past my biases. I found beauty in its pursuit at the detriment to my craft. Despite writing ample editorials, columns, and letters to editors to let loose my rage, I sabotaged myself in the long run. I should have continued pursuing this voice. Now I shall.

This blog turned 10 years old this year, and it’s never had more than 4,000 views in a single month. There were 41 views at Go Gonzo Journal yesterday. My goal is to do better today than yesterday. Then I want to do better next week than this week, do better next month than this month. This all might come at the detriment of my health, since writing tends to further enrage me.

It’s difficult to not dwell on things when you’re writing regularly, and I already dwell perpetually. I dwell on things I can’t control. I let the smallest of things ruin my day. I scream at the news and the President on Democracy Now! like sports fans yell at their teams when they stink. I give myself headaches yelling at and about things I cannot control. But, maybe if I yell here, I’ll yell less.

Perhaps writing was only torturous in the forms I previously pursued. Writing was torturous because I was pursuing perfection instead of writing for the sake of my sanity. Even if I have to censor some of my thoughts and feelings in order to avoid persecution and bullying, that’s no reason to cease and desist. Even if I have to climb through the slime that is social media to find the first 100 regular visitors of this blog, and then the first 1,000 regulars, I’m willing to do it. I wasn’t before, but that was before The New Abnormal.

The Old Normal was writing irregularly in the pursuit of perfection. The New Abnormal is writing regularly in the pursuit of sanity and growth. I hope you want to grow with me. I assure you the soundtrack will be exceptional and the content introspective and, hopefully, helpful.