Skills I Want to Acquire or Improve in 2022

I usually do a “New Year’s resolution” piece every year, but the goals I’ve set out to accomplish in previous years have been ends to means, not means to ends. Reading Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck and Everything is Fucked: A Book About Hope, has helped me set goals that are more accomplishable and, in turn, make a continued pursuit in 2022 more likely.

As Manson changes his goals for 2022 and starts “The Subtle Art School,” my 2022 New Year’s resolution is to acquire and improve skills instead of pursuing desired results. Pursue means to ends, not ends to means. Manson’s “Mindfuck Monthly” newsletter inspired this change in the way I set and pursue New Year’s resolutions. Here are the skills I want to acquire or improve in 2022.

Goal 1: Improved Discipline

I have set this goal before, in a way, to use fewer drugs and less alcohol, or eat healthier, but never have I done so with the intent of improving my mental health. In 2022, I hope to improve my discipline by meditating daily. Whether I meditate for a couple of minutes or a couple of hours is irrelevant. The result of improved mental health shouldn’t be the pursuit; the pursuit alone should be enough to satisfy my desire.

I want to improve my discipline in pursuing improved physical health as well. I changed health insurance providers in order to access a free gym membership in 2022, and my goal is to do some sort of exercise every day. Whether that exercise be shoveling snow off the sidewalk for all my neighbors or an intense workout is, again, irrelevant. The pursuit of improved physical health will be satisfying regardless of whether it results in six-pack abs.

Goal 2: Improved Ability to Manage Emotions and Relationships

I’ve written about how enraged I get on the tennis court, and it undoubtedly has a negative impact on the quality of my game. But my inability to manage my emotions effects more than just my tennis. It has an effect on my relationships as well, whether those relationships be personal or professional.

My coworkers often find me off-putting and abrasive because of my short temper. I don’t like cleaning up after my coworkers, but I have to communicate my displeasure in a way that actually makes them care enough about me to not leave those messes. I’ve already set out in pursuit of improving my ability to manage my emotions and relationships by reading Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. I’ve been meaning to read it for quite some time, but Will Smith’s memoir, Will, (on which Mark Manson assisted) motivated me to do so immediately. The book is that inspirational and more interesting than you ever thought Will Smith’s life could be. That’s coming from a lifelong Will Smith fan who knows every lyric to his “Big Willie Style” record.

I also intend to pursue this goal of improved ability to manage my emotions and relationships by writing more often. Since I don’t enjoy my job driving Zamboni, that alone is a source of angst I have for my coworkers and supervisors. But since I do have considerable downtime at work, I intend to use that time to write more often. I’ve been using it to read, but writing offers an outlet for me to express my angst and makes me feel I’ve accomplished something regardless of whether that writing is read by anyone. I’m writing this at work, and already I feel better about what I’m doing with my time.

My personal relationships are also a struggle to maintain given my inability to manage my emotions. Hell, my inability to simply listen makes it difficult to win friends and influence people. Just a few days ago I was working some youth hockey games as a public address announcer (which I really enjoy doing) with a perfectly amiable scoreboard operator over whom I spoke at my own detriment. You see, he was trying to complete a story, but I didn’t allow him to do so. Had I just shut up, I would have gotten the whole story and not looked like such an asshole. “I speak over people. It’s what I’m paid to do,” I said, already embarrassed by my excuse.

My pursuit of an improved ability to manage my emotions and relationships will be rewarding on and off the tennis court, regardless of the results. If I intently pursue this goal in 2022, the results are, again, irrelevant, but will be self-evident.

Goal 3: Improved Resilience

I complain a lot. In 2022, I’d like to complain less and simply play the cards I’m dealt the best I can. To do so, instead of asking why something is happening to me, I’ll ask why something is happening for me. I picked this up in the latest episode of Man in the Arena, the Tom Brady docuseries on ESPN+. It’s the episode about the biggest comeback win in Super Bowl history.

Tom Brady’s physical and mental resilience is astounding, as is that of his Patriots teammates. Much of that is due to their outlook, certainly influenced by head coach Bill Belichick, who’s forever moving “on to Cincinnati.” The New England Patriots’ 25-point comeback victory over the Atlanta Falcons in Super Bowl LI is certainly due to that resiliency, and in 2022, I intend to improve my own resiliency by being more Brady-like. Just because he’s a Donald Trump supporter doesn’t make him wrong about everything. That statement alone means I’m making progress already.