Wrestling Wednesday: Being All Elite Requires Naps, Meditation, and 6 AM Workouts

Being All Elite ain’t easy. There ain’t a pro wrestler who’d say otherwise. Being All Elite ain’t a mantra; it’s a lifestyle. I’m attempting to pursue that lifestyle with naps, meditation, and 6 a.m. workouts.

I haven’t been up at 6:30 a.m. for a workout in over a decade. In fact, the only thing for which I’m up that early is Australian Open tennis, and it’s because I stay up the entire night watching it. That might not be the case this year. Australia’s regulations requiring proof of COVID-19 vaccination applying to everyone except defending champion Novak Djokovic is the main reason I’m considering watching none of the tournament. Wanna play? Get a shot, Joker. The recent outbreak of the Omicron variant in Australia (and almost everywhere else) also puts completion of the tournament in question. I will, however, be laid up due to surgery on a broken wrist and a nerve issue in the elbow, despite which I took a set from everyone I played in a tournament in Key Biscayne, Florida. Just sayin’.

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But I want to go back and win that damn tournament because I probably would have had I been healthy. One player told me as much, and to do so, I’m going to make sure I never lose a match due to lack of conditioning ever again. I will outwork everyone. That’s being All Elite. So this morning I somehow awoke before my 6:30 a.m. alarm to hit the pool at the YMCA, taking advantage of the free membership included with my Medica health insurance and the two hours of validated parking from 6 to 8 a.m. It was $4, but it seems I could take the bus for as little as $1, which would be the best winter transit answer, especially with the two surgeries I’m planning this winter. The second is to fix a painful bunion on my right foot that I’ve had longer than my sister, who just had the same surgery. Thanks for those bunions, Grandma V.

Not only did I swim for 25 minutes, burning roughly 358 calories according to my Apple Watch, but I mediated in the sauna for five minutes as well. I left feeling rather refreshed, but not as centered as I would have liked. I scraped my hand on the house’s stucco while shoveling snow, and it angered me more than it should have. After napping for about an hour, though, I felt much better.

Naps are so good. Naps are essential to being All Elite. The body needs time to repair, and working as a public address announcer means working nights. I don’t get home until after 10 p.m. some nights, and going straight to sleep after driving super fast to rock music ain’t so easy. Also, I often have All Elite Wrestling to watch.

The point of this post is to develop a plan for being All Elite. You can’t give an All Elite effort without a plan. Here’s mine:

1. Get up early. Be ready to start your day when those on the East Coast are ready. That means getting a workout and meditation in before 8 a.m. whenever possible.
2. Find the most affordable and environmentally friendly way to workout everyday. That might be shoveling the three inches of snow expected Friday for all your neighbors or speed-sweeping and speed-mopping the floors at work. If you tighten up your tummy while doing both, you’ll find they’re surprisingly effective core workouts. Tuesdays could simply be a walk to the brewery and curling $10 growlers on the way back.
3. Make like Garfield and nap like an All Elite champ. Catnaps of around 30 to 40 minutes can work wonders, but don’t overdo it. You’ll end up tired the rest of the day.

That’s it. It might sound easy, but it ain’t. I’ll keep you posted on my pursuit of being All Elite. Maybe one day I’ll actually earn the right to wear this:

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Update (1/13/22): My application for TAP Enrollment to ride Metro Transit in the Twin Cities for $1 was approved. You can apply here. I also found a YMCA with ample parking about as close to my house as the Dayton YMCA downtown that charges $4 for parking. What follows is the “Being All Elite Table for Making a Champion,” which I will update everyday I am being All Elite.

Update (1/14/22): I’ve realized that being All Elite also requires a day of rest. Neither of the YMCAs nearest me are open on Sundays, but that won’t necessarily stop me from working out on Sundays. In the “Being All Elite Table for Making a Champion” you’ll notice that I’m denoting the number of days I’m being All Elite as well as the days I  am not. But even God allegedly took a day off, and while pro wrestlers are gods in their own right, I imagine they take a day of rest as well. So each week I will have six possible days for being All Elite, making for a total of 300 possible days this year for being All Elite.

Being All Elite Table for Making a Champion