Top Gonzo Thanksgiving Movies
Thanksgiving is the holiday for fuckups. It’s the one day of the year when the black sheep of every family gets a hot meal if not the opportunity to earn back the trust of their family members. Thanksgiving is a time when all is forgiven and resolved before being stoked and rekindled. The top Gonzo Thanksgiving movies consist of Gonzo characters doing Gonzo things on or around Thanksgiving that reveal absolute Truth as a result of the exaggeration of either actual or at least believable character traits and tendencies.
Unfortunately, most of America hasn’t the faintest idea for what they should be thankful. Many Americans don’t know what they’re missing by removing the Gonzo characters from their lives. Most Americans are thankful for a meal, or material, or the members of their families who fall in line. But who Americans need to be thanking are the Natives who helped their White ancestors survive winters only to be massacred or displaced by those very White people who claimed they had an inherent right to that land based on their white skin.
Thanksgiving is also another gluttonous holiday that benefits those with stock in Butterball and the NFL, Kraft and cranberries. But Thanksgiving is also a time when turkeys are donated and dinners are provided for Veterans of Foreign Wars and anyone alone on the most special of Thursdays. That’s why I try to visit an American Indian reservation and make an annual donation at a casino every Thanksgiving. It’s literally the least I can do to show my thanks to those whose ancestors suffered the wrath of the White man.
So instead of getting in line early for Black Friday or arguing with the black sheep of your family, here are the top five Gonzo Thanksgiving films to watch over the holiday to help you realize what Thanksgiving is all about.
Top Gonzo Thanksgiving Movies
5) Rocky Balboa (2005)
If you’re a Rocky fan, you might have teared up like me when you saw Rocky Balboa in theaters on Thanksgiving back in 2005. I took a girl on a first date and balled like a baby. Balboa makes the list because of the nature of its production. Sylvester Stallone both wrote and played hero in the film, and it’s a Thanksgiving film about a boxing match. But it’s also an educational film, one that helps us realize that regardless of how much life beats us down, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel, always a kind neighbor to extend an invitation to Thanksgiving dinner, and always a family member who needs your support, especially during the holiday season.
It’s easily the best movie I’ve seen in theaters on Thanksgiving, and Creed, the new installment, will certainly live up to the legend. Find the loneliest person you know and make their holiday by showing them any Rocky film. They will thank you for it.
4) Dutch (1991)
Dutch Dooley and Doyle Standish are two of my favorite Gonzo Thanksgiving movie characters. In this John Hughes film, Dutch agrees to pick up his girlfriend’s son from prep school prior to the holidays, and Doyle takes him on a Gonzo ride unlike any other. Eventually they take refuge in a homeless shelter because a couple of sexy hitchhikers rob them. It’s a story about the power of patience and learning to love those who loathe you.
3) Rocky (1976)
My personal favorite but not quite Gonzo enough to be tops on this list, is Rocky, the best love story ever. And the love story happens to start on Thanksgiving. “For you it’s Thanksgiving, but for me it’s Thursday.”
Like Balboa, Rocky is very Gonzo in its production, as Sylvester Stallone acted as both hero and writer, just like Hunter S. Thompson. And Stallone was drunk during my favorite scene in the movie, when Rocky tells Adrian he can’t beat Apollo and says he just wants to go the distance. The minimal budget was running so thin director John G. Avildsen only had enough film for one take. Stallone had a few drinks to calm his nerves, which is what Dr. Thompson would have prescribed.
2) Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987)
It might be the most touching Thanksgiving film because it’s all about giving, and it’s certainly Gonzo, as John Candy represents the Gonzo man of the road and Steve Martin plays the shocked yet ultimately accepting man of suburbia. For those of you who think Thanksgiving is about spending time with family, you’re wrong. Thanksgiving is about spending time with people you’d never spend time with – people who don’t have a place to spend Thanksgiving. It’s another John Hughes classic.
1) Scent of a Woman (1992)
It’s the Thanksgiving film that truly reminds you what you’re thankful for – life. And it’s the Thanksgiving film that reminds us all of the uncle we only see at Thanksgiving who makes an ass of himself but makes the whole Thursday worth living.
Scent of Woman is Gonzo in nature because Al Pacino’s portrayal of the drunk, angry, suicidal Lieutenant Colonel Slade might be the greatest character ever portrayed on film besides the Godfather. He’s blind, he drinks, he smokes, he yells, yet everything he utters is poetry.
“Remember, when in doubt, fuck.”
“Legs. I don’t care if they’re Greek columns or second-hand steinways. What’s between ’em – passport to heaven.”
“There’s only two syllables in this whole wide world worth hearing: pussy.”
This blind, old man makes love to a beautiful woman, has a helluva vacation in New York City at the Waldorf Astoria, drives a Ferrari and gets out of a speeding ticket, and puts a loaded pistol to his head before Chris O’Donnell makes him realize his life isn’t so bad.
This movie is Gonzo tops because of what there is to learn. Film and television were meant to be educational, as was Gonzo journalism, so this film best represents the best of both mediums. You’ll learn more from Colonel Slade than you will from most drunk uncles. To prepare you for the next holiday, you can find the top Gonzo Christmas movies here.
